Tomorrow I am actually going to visit the grave site of a friend that died very suddenly about a year and a half ago. I did not go to his grave site or memorial service the day that it was held because I was too chicken to do so. The only time that I have spent in cemeteries is when I was in middle school or early high school. And we were not there to visit anyone. We were there to drink and smoke pot and be obnoxious. Extremely disrespectful, I know. Anyhow, since I don't have any real experience with this I am sitting here trying to search on the internet for the appropriate types of flowers to bring to the grave site. Plus thinking about stupid stuff, like what should I wear? Is it appropriate to sit next to the headstone? Is there some mean and nasty caretaker that's going to come along and yell at me? I was sleepy about an hour and a half ago, however that is no longer the case. I am searching google maps for the best route to get to the cemetery, what types of flowers the cemetery allows, what the visiting hours are, etc. The only real things that I have decided on are that: I am bringing my umbrella, and perhaps something waterproof yet warm to sit on. I do want to hang out there for a minute. Who knows if I will be able to sense his presence, but I do believe in that kind of thing so I figure why not stick around for a while? If anything, it will just give me a chance to be quiet, and think about things. Oh, and probably cry. I am an extremely emotional person, and for people like me crying is sometimes a good thing. I just don't like to do it around other people. So maybe I will wear sunglasses and a baseball hat and that would make me less visible. Oh wait, is it disrespectful to wear a baseball hat at a cemetery? Shit.... now I need to look that up!!! All of these things are stuff that I just do not know. But I'm sure it will be fine. I over think everything so I just need to get up, get dressed, pick up some flowers, grab the box of kleenex, and go. Wish me luck.
Good luck CL, I believe you are allowed to anywhere you want on your friends grave to pay your respects but walk between the rows when going there. Any flower is fine at the site, whatever you like and think is respectful. I have been to services but never looked in the open casket, I've never needed the closure.. I like to remember people the way I saw them last ,, in my mind they are still happy and can walk through a door anytime. Remebering them dead doesn't cut it for me. Sounds like you are in for a reflective day, I wish you well. Some day when I retire and move back to Minnesota I will unfortunately have a lot of graves to visit as many old HS friends have moved on too. See ya :-)
ReplyDeleteI need beer. And maybe even shots.
Delete