Saturday, August 3, 2013

Dogs

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone likes dogs. So, keep your damn dog on a leash- and tell it to be quiet when you take it out... particularly if you live at the end of a mother fucking cul-de-sac (no idea how to spell culdesac), in a mother fucking condominium complex, to throw a mother fucking tennis ball, for it to catch ten times a day- because that's the only mother fucking time that you take the mother fucker out. And granted, I am not a dog owner, or a mother fucking animal whisperer- but my guess is that the mother fucking dog is not fucking happy living in a mother fucking condominium. Just guessing, of course.

P.S. No really, not everyone likes dogs. Can you tell?

P.P.S. Telling a person that doesn't like dogs that "your dog is harmless" is really not effective- especially considering the fact that all I want to do when I see and/ or hear your dog is to kick it, or climb a tree- depending on how big and menacing it is. It's pointless- so shut the fuck up, please.

P.P.P.S. If you launch into a speech about pitbulls and what fabulous loving creatures they are, I will mother fucking lose it on your ass. Especially if your mother fucking pitbull- pitbull(s) are pulling you along by their leashes trying to kill me.

Fuck off already.

Wow- it felt great to get that out. Yes, I know that sounded like an angry bitch from hell- but if that's what you got out of it, then I am happy... Because that is exactly what I meant. This is entirely the mother fucking reason that I started this mother fucking blog.

P.P.S.S. It astounds me how much the words "mother fucker" or any version thereof come out of my mouth when I'm really worked up about something. Thanks for listening.

Ciao, bitches! Xoxo.

Love,

Chicken

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