Unsolicited Anger Management Advice From Me To ****

Yo ****,

Ya gotta figure that shit out... And I'm not necessarily telling you that you have to- I'm just speaking from my own experience, and suggesting what might happen to you if you don't. At the end of the day- your choices become limited. You can either isolate everyone around you, cause yourself to become physically ill because you're so angry, waste tons and tons of time being a raging bitch, and perhaps even end up in jail- or any combination thereof (any of this ringing a bell right about now???) Ever have that friend that says "you don't know what I've been through"??? Nope- how could I possibly know what you've been through- I'm not you- but I can imagine whatever it was that it was pretty bad considering you want to rip everyone's face off. And please, don't try to act like you have the market cornered on the "what I've been through" crap- again, I don't know what you've been through- but you don't know what I've been through either (and BTW, we're not friends, bitches... I'm just trying to help you). Anyhow, it turns out that there are tons of people around us going through shit. I remember a time when I wanted to rip everyone's face off- that was so not fun- completely stressful, really. Now I only occasionally want to punch someone in the face. Oh, and another thing... you can't be a hypocrite- you can't you can't you can't. This is hard, I know. But you can't run around talking about being wronged/ people that are wronged in the world and what a travesty that is- then turn around and tell random people they are irrelevant and you wish they would die. I understand directing the anger at the person/ persons that wronged you in the first place- and I understand having occasional outbursts at other people that unfortunately happen to get caught in the crossfire- but that shit ain't cool. You have to apologize- or recognize- or empathize- or realize- just kidding, I'm not a rapper.

So, here is my unsolicited anger management advice to you: Go to therapy- take a boxing class- make up your own blog and rant about shit- do something. Because if you let some horrible crap that happened to you control or dominate your life (for too long) it will not only fuck up your life, but everyone else around you. It will never totally get better- but going around being an angry scary bitch like you are will only ruin your health, push others away, and perhaps lead to subsequent mugshots of you being plastered up on the internet for the world to see. You are cocky as all get out, and I get that- because I'm cocky too- but I'm not completely insane. And I tend to think these days (actually, I have for a while) that you are. So, jump back and chill the fuck out before it's really too late. Don't be a moron.

Chicken