Domestic Violence Dicks...

I attended a benefit dinner Saturday night at the Multnomah Athletic Club (MAC) which is a well known (rather affluent) private athletic club in Portland, OR. A friend of a friend who is rather well off had purchased two tables full worth of tickets. I accepted the invitation, but only because 1) I wasn't paying for it; 2) I was expecting good food and unlimited amounts of red wine; and 3) it was for a good cause... to raise money for victims of domestic violence. Although a I have some issues with the organization that was holding the benefit dinner being “faith based”, I still think it's worth getting the word out about them, because let's face it- there aren't that many public resources available, and the other private non-profits are stretched way beyond their limits. (Please see below for their contact information as well as other resources that you can utilize).

I started my blog in July 2011, several months after my own personal experience with domestic violence occurred. My guess is most people read my blog because of my association with Trey Starrs and The Potshot.com. My ex boyfriend had been featured as “Dick of The Week” on The Potshot.com shortly after he was arrested for beating the crap out of me. I am still not certain as to how or why Trey chose to feature my ex on there (his mugshot was not available online), but despite having asked him a million times about who submitted him as a potshot, he refuses to reveal his source. Anyhow, I don't care, because it gave me a great sense of satisfaction to see his mugshot plastered up there for the world to see... followed by a bunch of mean words- which were all true. Because Portland is so small, I heard through the grapevine that my ex was FURIOUS about it. That made me feel a lot better, too. You see this person thought they were above the law, and above everyone else. He had everyone fooled that he was such a “nice guy” blah blah blah- anyhow, no, he's not- but you get the idea.

If you or someone you know is in need of help dealing with a dick in their life, I would strongly urge you to take action and get out now. I you are unable to get out of the relationship on your own, there is some help available. The sooner, the better. I can guarantee you it will never get better, it will only get worse. And although my ex-boyfriend did go to jail for quite sometime for what he did, I had to deal with CAT scans, hospital bills, police officers, judges, testifying in court etc. My physical wounds have healed (except for a scar), but I'm still working on the emotional ones. Amazing how much damage those mother fuckers can do.

In closing- DON'T BE A DICK!!! And if you are dealing with one, reach out and tell at least one person. Even if you do it anonymously. 1 in 3 women has been a victim of domestic violence at some point in their life (and those are just the ones that we know about), so I guarantee you that you are not alone.

Love,

Chicken

P.S. If you have any questions please feel free to email me at chickalic@gmail.com. I will do my best to answer your question, and if I can't answer it I will find someone who can. You will remain anonymous.


P.P.S. I would like to nominate this guy (Joshua Cavett) for Dick of the Year. He was the one that was involved with the amber alert that was issued last Saturday for shooting his estranged wife (Jessie Cavett) and abducting their two year old daughter. He was getting arrested when I was leaving the benefit dinner that night. Jessie Cavett later died as a result of her injuries.

***RESOURCES***

PORTLAND WOMENS CRISIS LINE: 503-235-5333
*Support Groups for Victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (free of charge)
*Referral to numerous resources available within the PDX Metro Area

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE: 1-800-799-SAFE

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE CENTER: 503-640-5352
*Individual and Group Counseling- all counties (free of charge)

RESTRAINING ORDERS:
CLACKAMAS COUNTY: 503-655-8616
MULTNOMAH COUNTY: 503-988-3943
WASHINGTON COUNTY: 503-640-5342
*Provided you arrive early to fill out the paperwork (usually by 10 am), you will be able to see a judge that afternoon who will more than likely grant the restraining order which will be effective immediately. Even if the other party challenges the restraining order he or she will have to go through the courts in order to so, which could take up to 30 days. Unless they go to court and the judge amends/ dismisses the restraining order they have to stay away from you up until that time, and can be arrested if they violate it.
CAUTION: A restraining order may discourage the abusive party from bothering you, but will not necessarily keep you safe. Always be alert, and do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe.


ARMS
(Abuse Recovery Ministry & Services)
503-846-9284
866-262-9284
www.armsonline.org

BRADLEY ANGLE HOUSE (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER): 503-281-2444

GOOGLE IT!
If I didn't list anything above that you might need- then get on line and google it!
CAUTION: If you are using a computer or a phone that your abuser also has access to be very careful because they could find out what you were searching for. I would encourage you to erase all evidence of searches you did and/or phone numbers you called. Better yet, use another computer or phone so you don't run the risk of being discovered.

MULTNOMAH COUNTY POLICE NON-EMERGENCY LINE: 503-823-1111
WASHINGTON COUNTY POLICE NON-EMERGENCY LINE: 503-629-1111
*The reason I listed these non-emergency numbers is because they can be utilized in order to have someone answer questions you may have if you're not quite ready to go through the formal process of filing a restraining order or a police report. And, by doing this THERE WILL BE A RECORD that you contacted the police regarding the situation, which could help protect you by advising the police about the situation, and perhaps help you later if the matter goes to court.