TOP TEN THINGS THAT DRIVE ME BAT SHIT CRAY CRAY...

1). WHITE PEOPLE WITH DREADLOCKS....

What the fuck are you doing? Do you think that shit looks good? Are you aware that as much as you would like to get that "look" that you simply don't have the right type of hair to pull that shit off? You look like shit- you are annoying as fuck- and on top of all that, you kind of smell.... and I think there is sawdust in your hair- or something like that.

2). PEOPLE WHO PUT CHEWED UP GUM ON THE SIDE OF THEIR PLATE WHEN EATING...

W.T.F.???!!! Do you REALLY, need someone to tell you how wrong this is on so many different levels???!!! Never mind- that was a rhetorical question. That is fucking disgusting, it makes me gag, and please get away from me..... immediately.

3). PEOPLE WHO SMELL...

Can you not smell yourself? Is deodorant against your religion? Do you realize how offensive it is to other people??!! Do you even understand that I am about to pass out and/ or run in the opposite direction at any moment? This is not a rhetorical question. By all means, please attempt to answer it, and that will be step one in getting you the help that you so desperately need.

4). PEOPLE IN THE GROCERY STORE THAT CONSTANTLY LEAVE THEIR CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WHEN THEY'RE SHOPPING...

Again, I don't get it. I dare you to take a stab at it and explain your reasoning to me if you are one of those people that does this.

5). PEOPLE WHO ACCIDENTALLY (?) RUN INTO YOU IN A CROWED PLACE AND NEVER... EVER... EVER... SAY EXCUSE ME...

I don't even wanna know why- this is wrong- you should know that it's wrong- and there is no mother fucking excuse. And if I happen to be the person that you "accidentally" run into, and you are not elderly, handicapped, or under the age of 5- be prepared for me to tell you EXACTLY what I think about this. It's physically impossible for me not to.

6). PLEASE REFER TO A PRIOR BLOG ENTRY I DID DECADES AGO ABOUT "WORDS THAT ARE OFF LIMITS"...

7). PEOPLE THAT TALK WAY TOO LOUD, AND ARE COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT THAT THEY MIGHT BE DOING SO, AND/OR DON'T GIVE A FUCK...

8). PEOPLE THAT SAY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN...

Unless of course it's something worthwhile saying- In the even that you are unsure as to what constitutes "worthwhile", please feel free to ask me...I'll tell you. However, I would like to warn you up front that the fact that you even need to ask me is not a good sign, and it will probably just piss me off more.

9). PEOPLE THAT SPEND A GANG OF MONEY AT 7-11 ON STUPID SHIT, WHEN THEY KNOW THEY DON'T GET PAID FOR ANOTHER WEEK.... WAIT, LET ME REPHRASE THAT: PEOPLE THAT SPEND A GANG OF MONEY AT 7-11....

You are stupid... I don't know what else to tell ya.

10). PEOPLE THAT NEVER SAY PLEASE OR THANK YOU....

I'm a bitch and all, but I have manners!