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Monday, September 16, 2013

I Finally Had Sex

I finally had sex. But that doesn't mean that I'm any less high strung, because obviously I'm not. Why?? I dunno, apparently no matter how much I love him as a person, think he's hilarious, think he's very talented at what he does (this is not related to sex, assholes), that he wouldn't react in the way I would want him to in a bunch of situations (i.e. step in when needed- on a bunch of shit- for example: if someone fell down in front of him, then he would help them up; if someone was being a verbally abusive asshole to someone, then he would speak up; and if someone XXXXXXX- basically what that means- is that he better fucking respond however I think he should respond in any given situation at any given time. Am I high maintenance?? Hell yeah, I am.

Anyhow- I finally had sex- it was good, pretty good, but not great- I wish you could see this strange expression on my face while I'm writing this. Anyhow- he's cool people- but I don't like him like that. Why did I have sex with him?? Probably because if I didn't have sex with anyone soon, I had this overwhelming feeling that I might spontaneously combust. Ouch, if you're reading this (guy I had sex with) then I'm sorry. Gees, such a stupid conscience I have. Sometimes I think it really hinders me in life.

Anyhow............................................................................ That's what happened.

7 comments:

  1. Well congrats, I think?? How long has it been for you? If you don't mind me asking..

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    1. 8 months- give or take a day or two.

      And I really (kinda sorta) wanna like him like that- not that he's breaking down my door- haha- but I just don't. We did it once like 3 years ago, and the feeling wasn't there at that time either. But the sex was much better this time, so perhaps that's something to work with??!! No- sigh- and I think he feels the same way... But at least we like to hang out, we laugh, and we like the same things, right??!!! And I have faith in him that he would act appropriately in all of those situations I listed above- so that's another positive, right?? Heck yeah it is. So maybe it's just a continuation of our friendship, with a sex thing on the side. And if I have to fake it, I will. Chicks are very good at doing that- hope you knew that. Although I didn't have to fake it this last time- ha!

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  2. Bout time you got those cobwebs cleaned out! Fuck! I crack me up. Too bad he was good and not incredible. Better luck next time.

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    1. Well thank you for “wishing me luck” the next time (I'm being sincere). I agree, incredible vs. just good would be fucking outstanding. That's assuming I ever give it up again. ;)

      But why do people (although I'm assuming you're a guy), always say "cobwebs"??!!! There are no "cobwebs", and I think that is a strange archaic way of putting it- not to mention a revolting visual- okay, never mind- it's cool- suit yourself. Free speech is a beautiful thing. But as a chick, or perhaps just in my own perspective... I never envision "cobwebs"- What I envision, or consider (or have experienced is in the past- that's right- this has happened before) are a few things... 1) I wonder how long the magical time period is before I should technically be considered as a virgin again?? 2) WTF, will I ever have sex again?? and 3) I seriously can not continue to be this much of a high strung bitch forever- so if I don't have sex within a reasonable amount of time, I might just die- or kill someone.

      Wait, to clarify... Anyone, and I do mean anyone, can manage to find someone to have sex with- at the very least within 8 months- duh. So what does this 8 month period of abstinence mean to me??? That I am now extremely picky... perhaps to a fault... or perhaps I feel the need to make up for all the times I had sex in the past that were soooo not worth it. I dunno- something like that. I don't know- just over analyzing, as I have famously been know to do. But if I'm not attracted to you physically, intellectually, or phermonally (is that a word?? I don't think so)- then fuck that- I'm going home by myself. Always. BTW- phermonally (my new word)- is the most dangerous. Stay away from people like that- haha. Do as I say, and not as I do... damn it.

      Love,

      Chicken

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  3. "Am I high maintenance?? Hell yeah, I am." Wake up sleeping ugly. Beggars can't be choosers.

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    1. I am sorry that you have resorted to begging. I would suggest getting a vibrator, perhaps... Oh, and moisturizer on your face at night before you go to bed. That might help.

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  4. 😱This is really emberassing i love how you talk trash about my mom but your just exposing yourself honestly i dont even need to shame you your already shaming yourself i bet your life is rec right now 2 i can tell your probably on drugs right now or maybe your dead it has to be either or

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